Confessions of Procrastinator
Written by Kendall Bergman
If you’ve read the blog I posted immediately before this one…you know that I wrestle with waiting…putting off…avoiding…procrastinating. If you can relate, I am hopeful you’ll find this post helpful.
Yes…it is true that I produce my best work under pressure. AND, I desire to have increased discipline in my life. Not discipline steeped in guilt, shame or forced obligation. Rather a discipline that is founded in grace. A discipline that is elastic and fluid. A discipline that orients itself around choice, conviction and belief…I can do this!
I can get this post written. I can get up at 6 most mornings to spend time in quiet and reflection with the Divine. I can get myself to the gym 3 days a week to workout with a personal trainer. I can make sure my dogs are walked each and every day.
I can do so many things. I can…but, I don’t cross the finish line on everything each and every day. I’m learning that what I want is to have the thing done…and I struggle with actually doing the thing.
Throughout my life I have learned a few hacks that actually help cut through the distractions and resistances to get the thing done…experience accomplishment…create meaningful work.
Create time blocks in your calendar. Do you have a presentation or talk coming up? Schedule 2-hour time blocks in the weeks leading up to the event to hunker down, put your head in the books and get the presentation finalized and the talk practiced. Planning and preparation are so important…protect your calendar…hold the boundary and get the work done!
Find a “study buddy”. Do you remember pulling those all-nighters in college? Boy, I do and it was my experience that having another person to study with made all the difference. This is still true. Find a colleague who you like, trust and respect. Schedule a 60-90-120 minute parallel play. A couple of friends and colleagues introduced me to this notion of parallel play last year. I work best when I’m not working in complete solitude. I work best when I know there is external accountability…not judgment, not guilt, and definitely not shame. Parallel play provides a shared space to complete projects, tasks, etc. within the context of relationship. I know that my colleagues on the other end of the Zoom are for me…they are sending me energy and thoughts and prayers to get the thing done.
What is the story you’re telling yourself as you continue to choose not to do the thing(s)? “I can’t do this!” “What’s the point?” “This doesn’t matter.” “You can’t make me!” And on and on the internal messages go. Our inner critics are powerfully strong. We are quick to listen to them rather than our inner champions who actually want the best for us. What is a response you might offer the inner critic that can redirect your energy? “I actually can do this.” “I know how good it feels to have the thing done…I’m going to sit down and get to work.” “Today I’m not going to try and get the entire project completed…but, I can dedicate 30 minutes and another 30 minutes tomorrow and/or the next day.”
Ask for help!! If you’re feeling stuck…reach out to your spouse, friend, colleague, sibling, parent…name the stuckness. If you simply need to vent, let the person know you just need a listening ear. If you actually want to brainstorm and workshop solutions, ask the other person to ideate with you or if they have any ideas or suggestions. I am a strong proponent for this approach. You don’t have to figure everything out on your own. Ask for help.
Experiment, play, explore…moving into an “efforting” position is not a one size fits all. See what works for you. If you have any tips, hints or hacks let me know. Email kendall@thediscoverywell.com. I would love to hear from you!