Christmas is Coming Part 2: Tips for Thriving Through the Holidays!
Written by Kendall Bergman
Last week I wrote about putting on your armor as part of your Christmas experience. In that post I suggested curiosity, vulnerability and courage as a fresh type of armor. You can read more here. In short, I believe it’s worth considering new ways of navigating what we experience withinthe stale and stagnant waters of our lives.
What path are you on right now? Is there intention around it? Or, does it feel like you woke up one morning and realized you’re headed in the wrong direction…the wrong job, the wrong city, the wrong perspective, the wrong relationship? Do you continue listening to the external voices, opinions, and noise flying at you? Are you ready to follow the path that is most resonant with you?
This can be overwhelming and result in feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and a general stuckness. You don’t have to continue in this way. When feelings of anxiety, irritation and anger start creeping in, step away from the situation or person and try one or more of the following tips that you can easily transition into daily practices.
Breathe. Essential oils like eucalyptus, peppermint and lavender are very helpful here. Simply open the bottle, hold under your nose and breathe in deeply for 3-4 counts, hold…and then breathe out for 3-4 counts. After breathing in several times…up to 10…you can decide if you want to re-engage or not.
Move. Leave the place where you are. Get up, move to the front door and keep on walking…30, 60, 90 minutes. Be sure you’ve laced up your best walking sneakers before going on a longer walk. Including intentional breathing while walking will help clear your head and de-escalate your emotions.
Reach out. Call, text or go to a trusted friend or family member…ideally, someone not directly involved in the issue that’s bringing up the uncomfortable feelings. Tell them what you’re struggling with. If you don’t want input, feedback or suggestions, let that trusted person know up front that you only need a sounding board…someone to hold space for your hurt and heart.
Listen. Turn the external noise down…actually, turn it off. And listen to your internal voice…that wisest part of you that knows…way down deep…that truth is available to you and that it is possibly already living within you. Ask yourself, “How am I?” “What do I need (for this moment, for this day, for this season)?” “What do I want?”…stay in the quiet and listen. What do you hear?
Journal. What or who is bugging you? Write it down and then wonder about the “why” of this. What is the thing under the thing? Journaling is a helpful way to purge the multiple disappointments, hurts, and frustrations that nag you from one day or moment to the next. There is no right or wrong way to journal. You can start with a scratch sheet of paper or a beautiful journal purchased from your favorite vendor (I always go to erincondren.com or emilyley.com). You can keep the pages to review years from now. Or, you can write it down and throw it away or burn it. Do what honors where and how you are in that moment.
Celebrate. Let joy creep in…take a beat and celebrate it. It doesn’t have to be anything big…an internal mark that you are free of the hindrances of unmet expectation and longing...and celebrate. Remember that scene in “Love Actually” when Sarah (Laura Linney) and Carl (Rodrigo Santoro) finally kiss and Sarah asks Carl to hold on for a minute…she walks around the corner and jumps up and down? That’s the metaphorical and literal celebratory marker I’m referring to. Don’t get so bogged down about what’s not and what’s frustrating that you entirely miss what is and what’s bringing you happiness and peace.
Be grateful. Closely tied to celebrating is practicing gratitude. Identifying those people, things and experiences you’re grateful for, doesn’t take the pain and sorrow away. It simply allows you to hold the reality that it’s quite possible to live in the tension of light and dark, happy and sad, positive and negative. Refer back to the blog from a couple of weeks ago where I wrote about the benefits of a practice of gratitude.
I’d love to hear back if you try any of these suggestions…let me know what works and what doesn’t…or something else you’re doing that’s not on the list.
And if you're ready for sustaining change, I would enjoy the opportunity to talk with you during a complimentary discovery session. Email me at hello@thediscoverywell.com to schedule time today.