Discovering Your Purpose
Written by Kendall Bergman
Have you discovered the purpose of your life? Your reason for being? That thing that motivates you? The way you make meaning? The place where you are most intrinsically alive? The “why” that gets you out of bed each morning?
If you have, \be grateful, celebrate and understand how you can consistently live more fully from that perspective. You owe it to yourself, your loved ones and your community.
If you haven’t, would you like to? It’s a journey. It requires that you show up, become a nonjudgmental detective about yourself and those around you, and courageously step into your most authentic self. I’m here to tell you this is possible. You can do this.
In July 2002, my position at a telecom start-up was eliminated, and I found myself at a crossroads…the most significant crossroads of my life up to that point. You see, after completing my undergraduate studies, I floated from one unfulfilling job in the for-profit sector to another…ultimately finding myself without a job, unmoored and desperate for meaning. I don’t know that I would have been able to verbalize it at the time, but I was longing for my purpose.
After losing that job, I didn’t know much but was confident I couldn’t bear taking another position like those I had known…with unchallenging, boring, predictable work that resulted in increasingly larger paychecks yet left my soul feeling forgotten and lost. So, I polished up my resume and started looking for work in the non-profit space. At that time, all I could think was that I wanted the work I did to have a positive impact on the world.
Through a seemingly random series of events, I ended up not finding a new job, but going back to school…seminary to be precise. I left Dallas, TX two days after Christmas 2002, packed my life into an old Ford Explorer and headed to Seattle, Washington to attend The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. I graduated in August 2006 with an MA in Counseling and a Master of Divinity.
My journey into discovering why God had put me on this earth was well under way. I learned that I was hardwired for curiosity, empathy and healing…not only for myself but for others as well. I also learned that I was powerless to change anyone but myself. No one could do that work for me, and I can’t do it for anyone else.
I started seeing a counselor while I was attending seminary, and she walked with me through some difficult and dark seasons. I discovered I was pretty darn enmeshed with my family…you know, not knowing the end of myself and the beginning of the next person. And as long as other people in my life were okay, I was okay. In case you’re wondering, this isn’t healthy. That saying, “things will get worse before they get better” applies to counseling. After working with her for about 9 months, I began tapping into some anger that I hadn’t let myself feel…ever.
At one point I decided to write a letter to a family member detailing to that person how they had let me down and hurt me over the years. I brought the letter into a session and told my counselor I was going to send it. At that point, she asked me one of the most important questions anyone has ever asked me, “What is your intention in sending the letter? Are you sending it because you are compelled no matter the outcome, or are you sending the letter expecting the other person to change or react in a particular way?” In that moment, I didn’t know exactly why I would have sent the letter. I only knew it wasn’t the former. I never sent the letter, because I had learned an important lesson. I learned that I was in therapy, attending graduate school and uncovering meaning in my life for me. No one could do it for me. And it was vitally important I do it for myself.
Are you ready to change for you? Are you ready to discover your life’s purpose? Are you ready to step more fully into who God created you to be? I didn’t do it alone, and you don’t have to either. I am happy to have a conversation with you to discover if coaching might be the right next step for you. Feel free to schedule a free consultation here:https://kendallbergman.as.me/introcall. Or email kendall@thediscoverywell.com.