Don’t Even Worry About It

Written by Kendall Bergman

Have you ever felt stuck? Stuck in a dead-end job? Stuck in a difficult relationship? Stuck in unhealthy patterns? Stuck deciding what you’ll have for dinner? We’ve all been there. When this happens, it’s not uncommon to feel desperate, alone and that absolutely everything must change in order to get unstuck. This is simply not true. You are not desperate. You don’t have to be alone. And I guarantee…absolutely everything does not have to change.

My life can be humming along and then something goes off-track and a fleeting thought tells me I must get a new job in a different country and all will be well…all of my problems will disappear and I’ll run into the man of my dreams at the bakery on the corner. Of course, the bakery is located in a quaint village somewhere in the English countryside…remember I’ve moved and gotten a new exciting job somewhere far away from my current home. I can quickly convince myself that a 180-degree change is required for progress, fulfillment and meaning to happen. 

180-degree changes are rare and most often are not necessary in order for us to experience real, honest and long-lasting transformation. The reality is that shifts of 1 or 2 degrees are typically all that is required for sustainable change to take hold. Changing perspective, cultivating an abundance mindset and increasing curiosity for ourselves, others and the world around us can provide the clarity, insight and freedom needed to take the next right step on the road leading to our most authentic, meaningful and fulfilling life.

And really that’s why we are here…to discover authenticity, meaning and fulfillment. Not so we can store it away for ourselves, but in order for us to more fruitfully pour out and freely offer ourselves in service to those around us. Listen, I’m all about self-help, self-awareness and self-improvement…but, not so I can become a self-serving narcissist. We live in a time where giving back has lost its luster. Even so, I believe humankind can be generous and hope is still alive and well.

Sometimes the easiest shift in perspective when I’m stuck is to stop obsessing about myself and my problems…and do something nice for someone else. Maybe I can roll the neighbor’s garage cans back to his house or bring a smoothie to a sick friend or ask a stranger how I can pray for them or simply smile at the person I pass when I’m walking my dogs. I struggle doing this…sometimes it’s more comfortable (ugh!) choosing to stay stuck in my unhappiness. Does this resonate with you?

I’ve been seeing a personal trainer 3 times a week for just over a year. I know this is a privilege and I’m very grateful I’m able to do this. That said, the workouts are difficult, strenuous and exhausting. There have been many times where he will tell me what to do and I’m sure the look on my face says something like “You’ve got to be kidding.” Or maybe I actually say something like “You’ve got to be kidding.” With a kind and knowing smile on his face he often responds with “You’ve got this. Don’t even worry about it.” 

The first few times he said this I would laugh and then do what he said. The longer I’ve worked with him the more I’ve internalized it. “I’ve got this. Don’t even worry about it.” I have become convinced that this is a mantra or a prayer that helps me loosen the hold the stuckness has and try something new…only a degree or two new…but, something new and different nonetheless.

I’m pleased to report that Drew (that’s the amazing trainer’s name) has never been wrong. He tells me what to do. And over time I’ve learned that I’ve got it and I don’t even need to worry about it. This might sound overly simplistic. And it is simple, but it’s not easy. It requires choice, persistence, determination and intention. 

The wonderful thing is that I’m not getting unstuck alone. Drew is with me during each session…challenging me, encouraging me, reminding me that I can do it and not even worry about it.

If you’re ready to get unstuck and discover that you, too, have got this…that you don’t even need to worry about it, contact me at kendall@thediscoverywell.com to schedule your free introductory session today!

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Particularity, Meaning and Context

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What I’ve Learned From My Dogs