Shifting Seasons

Written by Kendall Bergman

I’ve been thinking about light and dark lately. More specifically, the relationship between light and dark…the interchange…the power that dark can hold and the freedom light invites.

Scientists have discovered that darkness can exist apart from light. However, light is unable to exist without darkness. I have no idea how the science of this works. What I can tell you is that darkness tells me that I’m alone, to keep my secrets to myself and not to rock the boat. As recently as this morning this lie was whispering inside of me.

Since the new year began, I’ve been feeling anxious and irritable. In moments, I’ve listened to the lie and have become stuck in the old story…the story that tells me “if only the people around me would be and say and do as I would be and say and do, then all would be well”. That lie is closely related to the one that says, “keep your mouth shut…don’t say anything about what you want or need because you’re not going to get it anyhow…don’t be needy”.

I do self-talk, pray, journal, practice gratitude…the anxiety and irritation subside for a few minutes. And then fairly quickly return to rest in my soul and heart.

I keep moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other. I went to a luncheon on last week, saw old friends, met new ones and enjoyed lovely conversation and delicious food. Saturday evening I had the pleasure of dinner with people I love…safe people. Sunday I went to church, led in my Life Group, and wrestled with this notion of Sabbath. The weight of irritation lifted and then…it returned.

Thank goodness I was able to identify and name it…with my sister who didn’t judge, didn’t pacify and didn’t offer a solution. She acknowledged what I was confessing to her, she forgave me and…quite simply…loved me. Oh man…receiving grace like that is momentarily painful and eternally life-giving.

Did I mention…my church is mid-way through a series on Sabbath? An intentional practice to stop, rest, delight and worship. An invitation from The Creator of the entire universe to step into the rhythms of nature…sunrises, sunsets, seasons that drift into one another…an opportunity to experience a 6-days on/1-day off week…every week of the year.

I’m not super comfortable with this 1-day off thing. I’m a bit addicted to my devices and screens…to numbing out on the regular. I like to get what I want when I want it. I’m unfamiliar with delaying gratification and patiently waiting…for anything, really. The invitation of the 1-day off is to really step away from the urgency of work, expectation of others, felt need for more stuff…the invitation includes putting technology away and simply being with God and resting in His provision.

We live in a culture…at least in this part of the world…where self-sufficiency, fierce independence and lack of community are esteemed…character traits to be cultivated. I’m single and don’t have children. I’ve had ample opportunity to master a type of rugged individualism. And I’ve been pretty good at it. 

It’s no coincidence that my irritation is nearby and my faith community is simultaneously experimenting with a Sabbath practice. I know this. I’m clumsy. I’m longing for more of God.

Centuries ago, 1624 to be exact, John Donne wrote, “No man is an island entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…” The issues we face today are not so different from what human beings have encountered since the beginning of time. We long to be seen and known…to live in the light…and simultaneously we too often stay in the dark. At least it’s familiar, right?

Seasons shift right before our eyes. We move from shorter days to longer. From day to night and back again. May we have the courage and wisdom to step into the glimmers of light along the way. I am convinced the more we step into light, the less power the dark will have over us. If you’re thinking about Star Wars…well, so am I. I want to be like Luke Skywalker. Darth Vader can suck it!

Are you ready to step into more light…have the sun kiss your face? I’m here to walk with you. Schedule your free discovery call today!